Engagement Party Etiquette 101: An Updated Guide + Tips (2024)

FAQs

What is proper etiquette for an engagement party? ›

There's no set engagement party etiquette on this, but here is our advice: Keep it small- to medium-sized. You don't need to include everyone who will be on your wedding guest list. Keep the party intimate and special by inviting your closest friends and family members to raise a glass to your impending nuptials.

Whoever hosts the engagement party is usually responsible for covering the costs. Historically, it's been the bride's parents. However, as celebrations for engagements have evolved, Mae notes that she often sees both parents paying a portion of the total bill. Some couples even chip in.

Timeline. The engagement party should take place 2-4 months after the engagement if you are planning a long engagement and for shorter engagements it can be held any time more than 6 months before the wedding.

Typically, the parents of the couple or perhaps even other family members - such as siblings - may give speeches. And since it's your event, you might like to say a few words, expressing your gratitude and excitement.

You won't be barred entry if you come to an engagement party without a gift. However, some guests feel more comfortable bringing a small gift rather than showing up empty-handed. Either way, no rule says gifts are required for engagement parties.

An engagement party is all about having a good time and celebrating this life milestone with your nearest and dearest, so it's important that you feel amazing! Traditionally, the bride-to-be will wear a dress in white or cream that is shorter than the customary full-length wedding gown.

Anywhere from $50 to $75 is more than an appropriate price for an engagement gift—and, as mentioned, you can spend even more or less (or none).

"The cost for these varies in region, but in general, you will expect to spend anywhere from $2,000 to $10,000 plus." It's also worth pointing out that some venues will have a booking fee in addition to a minimum that you need to spend on food and beverage. Make sure you read the contract carefully before you sign.

The groom's family traditionally paid for all costs associated with the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon, wedding day transportation, and the officiant. The groom paid for the bride's engagement ring, wedding ring, and groomsmen gifts. It is also common for the groom's family to pay for the alcohol at the reception.

If you want a light and casual engagement party that is social, keep your event before 4 p.m. Events starting after 4 p.m. imply co*cktail hour – and food. As you go later in the evening, it also implies a less formal atmosphere.

Do you have a cake at an engagement party? ›

It's my firm belief that it's not a party without a cake, so even if you decide to forgo a full buffet or sit-down meal, you should, at the very least invest in an engagement cake, which can feed the party goers. Popular are also afternoon tea celebrations.

(Or send early enough in advance before they have plans.) Weekend evenings (Friday or Saturday) are preferred, so most guests won't have to work the next day. Set a start and end time, so engagement party guests know when to arrive and depart, typically a two to four-hour window.

If the bride's parents are hosting, which is typical of the engagement party, one of them-usually Dad-makes the first speech. He welcomes the guests and toasts his daughter and her groom-to-be, regaling the crowd with a sweet anecdote about the bride. If someone else is hosting, that person should make the first toast.

Speak to their relationship and the love they share, tell everyone a short story about how they met, and toast with all the enthusiasm and warmth to the wonderful future they have ahead of them.” End your toast with a nod of positivity and all the beautiful moments to come.

We suggest you avoid long stories and stick to the key points that are: Thanking people for coming and their love / generosity / warmth. Mentioning anyone who has made this possible. Explain how happy it has made you.

Bringing a gift to the celebration is not a requirement, but doing so can be a sweet gesture and a way to show your heartfelt congratulations. In some cases, guests may bring gifts to the engagement party as a way to share their happiness and excitement with the couple, but it's ultimately a personal decision.

"If you were expecting that the couple might be getting engaged or if there is a rumor going around, congratulating them is not appropriate," she says. "However, if this is confirmed officially, or if we are very close to the to-be weds and they share the happy news with us, we should congratulate them immediately."

While it's optimal to stay for the entire time, some engagement parties can go on for 4-5 hours. Chianese points out that the longer you stay the better.